The Sad Truth About Why I Kept My Health a Secret

This post is in partnership with Piedmont Rising. As always, thank you for supporting GoodTomiCha.

Starting 2020 with Vulnerability & New Beginnings

I can’t thank you all enough for your prayers and encouraging messages from the past few days. If you’re missing some backstory, you can read my previous post here about my Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis at 23.  While I’m no stranger to difficult topics on my blog, this one has taken me some time to share. I’ve gotten a few DMs asking me WHY did I keep my health secret for so long. And I definitely plan to explain. Like I said before, healthcare just seems like something that is so personal! Once you give it up, it feels like it can be used to define you.

I toyed with the idea of it was even something I should share at all. I’d constantly ask myself, “Do I need to post every part of my life to be a good blogger?” I’ve been a big supporter of influencers having boundaries with their audiences over the years. But similarly to my story about my birth control journey, I ultimately knew that this testimony could help someone else down the line. And from the number of DMs I’ve received from others who are struggling-thanking me for letting them know they’re not alone. I don’t regret it one bit. But looking back at this past season of life, I can summarize my main reason for silence on the issue was FEAR.

I Didn’t Look as Sick as Others: The Sad Truth About Why I Kept My Health a Secret

“What?! I had no idea you had MS!” Well, it’s not called an invisible illness for anything! Every day and every MS patient doesn’t look the same. Like many autoimmune diseases, my symptoms are unpredictable. Even if I stick to the diet plans, workout regiments, and get 8-10 hours of sleep, I can still wake up feeling like my body is on fire. For the most part, I’ve been able to manage it with little side effects thanks to some new developments in MS medication. But it’s because of that unpredictability that I thought I’d keep this new life update under wraps for over a year.

Figuring out how to balance my new routine, my final year of graduate school, and a wedding (though I didn’t really know it at the time) was already enough. I also was scared that I wasn’t “sick enough” to share my story. The internet can be a cruel place and didn’t want to be perceived as a fraud just because my pain looks different than others. Thankfully, I’m strong enough to ignore these comments if that’s ever to happen in the future.

I Didn’t Know How It Would Affect My Career: The Sad Truth About Why I Kept My Health a Secret

I was approaching the job hunt and knew my health could be an issue. As a digital marketer and social media strategist, my blog is basically my resume. What would happen when employers Google me and read that I have unpredictable sick days and require stress-free environments? It’s not exactly a checkmark in the ‘pro’ column for a recruiter.

Multiple Sclerosis is on the list of necessary accommodations in the workforce according to the ADA. Was I supposed to check that box now? Of course, they can’t deny you a job because of your disabilities, but I’d never really know if that was the reason, right? As a black woman in corporate America, I wasn’t about to add another target to my back. Currently, I work as a full-time blogger and consultant so I have a bit more freedom over what I can share. However, I still fear for a day that I have to jump back into the corporate side of marketing. 

I Was Scared About My Future and Health Insurance: The Sad Truth About Why I Kept My Health a Secret

And while a freelance career with blogging would allow me the flexibility to create my own schedule, I’d lose the security of health insurance. That groundbreaking new drug I mentioned above? The 30-day supply keeps my disease from progressing and just happens to cost $5,000/month without healthcare coverage. Not to mention the quarterly trips for bloodwork to monitor my white blood cell count, bi-annual brain and spinal cord MRIs, and just my regular checkups with my physician!

As a 25-year-old going on 26, I have less than a year left on my parent’s insurance. Thankfully, my spouse has a job with great benefits but not everyone has this privilege. And what would happen (God forbid) if Will lost his job or worse? It’s heartbreaking and downright infuriating to me that millions of Americans have to cope with a system that treats them like garbage when we can actually do something about it.

Resources for Change

I don’t think it’s a surprise where I am on the political spectrum, but healthcare is far from a political issue. We seriously need healthcare reform on a local and national level so other people don’t have to live in fear. The way that people have to plan if they need to ration their insulin or buy groceries for the month, you’d think we’re a developing country. When I was looking for resources to educate my audience after I shared about my MS diagnosis, I learned about the local advocacy group, Piedmont Rising. The organization educates North Carolina residents on how to push for reform, engage within our community and unite to hold elected officials accountable.

I don’t think that it’s a coincidence that my career choice has now allowed me the ability to share my opinions about issues that matter more freely. And while I’ve been fed up for years about how our country treats the underprivileged, I’m hoping that I can use resources like Piedmont Rising to educate myself even more on this topic. 2020 is all about walking the walk when it comes to demanding change. Will you join me?

LET’S KEEP IN TOUCH!

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