When I was younger, I was literally active 7 days a week. Something I couldn’t even fathom doing now! I grew up playing competitive tennis- complete with strict, daily conditioning schedules and stretching routines. I even discussed playing in college with a few recruiting coaches! But I soon felt like I was tumbling down a hill towards burnout. It led to resentment towards my relationship with my parents and my coach. Because while I was practicing 24/7, my friends enjoyed a typical high school experience.
After pulling away from tennis, I decided to join my high school cheer team. It kept me active but I was still able to hang out with friends that kept me accountable for workouts. But I didn’t have to log my daily squats or push myself to beat a new time on sprints across the court. At the time, it felt like a new sense of freedom. But now I realize it helped me put my fitness and health accountability in others.
In college, I had access to the campus rec center and could easily fit it in between classes. It became another way to hang out with friends versus my own personal goals. But again, I didn’t see the issues with it until it was time to fend for myself. I took for granted my ability to move my body freely whenever I’d like and my overall health. Slowly, I became lethargic, simply satisfied with the way my body looked on the outside to commit to anything else.
After about 2 years of giving a big screw you to my daily steps counter, I was diagnosed with MS. Instead of having the choice to roll out of bed with ease and exercise whenever I’d like, it was taken from me. Sitting in the hospital room, I vowed I would never take it for granted again. But unfortunately, I struggled to get back into a consistent schedule. When I tried to go back to the gym, I’d get frustrated with how little I could do without being winded or having long-term body pain. What was the point of working out if I had to take multiple rest days in between to be back where I was?
It’s taken me years now to give myself not only a little bit of grace but to re-align my goals for my health. Just because I’m not able to do the exact routines I did before, doesn’t mean I won’t be able to someday.
With any type of journey, it’s important to understand its purpose. And that includes a fitness journey. When I asked if you had any fitness goals for the year, did you stop to consider why? Is it because you want others to perceive you a certain way? Is it to feel better about yourself in photos? Or to fit into your old clothes? I’m not here to judge your reasons, but it doesn’t hurt to reflect on your motivations.
My health is my own personal responsibility. And my approach to how I could accomplish that used to put others at the forefront. My coaches, my friends, and random accountability partners on the internet pushed me when I didn’t want to be. But it wasn’t until my most recent MS relapse in September that I realized it was up to me. I gained 15 pounds from steroids and 6 weeks of bed rest. But what I longed for the most was to just be able to take daily walks around my neighborhood without being in pain.
At that moment I stopped focusing on the scale or the run times I had in high school. I just prioritized, “How can I be better today than I was yesterday?” And there’s no better time than the present to focus on a healthier you.
So a few things I hope to accomplish on my journey this year are…
In 2022, I know that being more active won’t only help me physically in the long term but mentally. And even if I’m taking these steps slowly, I’m proud of myself for getting started.
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Toni – Thank you for sharing this. It really resonated with me as I struggle to consistently exercise with rheumatoid arthritis. What you said about having to recover for days after a workout – exercise intolerance is real! I’ve learned (the hard way) to listen to my body, be patient, a allow myself a lot of grace. Sometimes, once around the block is all I can walk. But, I get out everyday and walk knowing that eventually, I’ll be able to walk two blocks and so on. I appreciate your perspective and wish you a healthy 2022!
As someone who doesn’t struggle with an autoimmune disorder or any other major health issues, this made me realize I’m taking my health for granted. I have been in a great routine most of 2021 and I let it slip away during the holidays, so I just haven’t been making it a priority in 2022 yet. I’m going to get back to it now though, because I’ve realized a difference in my mood and the way my body feels when I don’t take my health seriously. Thank you for the motivation!